Updated: Apr 30, 2020
Let's face it, after you've been married, common law or in a committed relationship for an extended period of time it can become too easy to stop trying to impress your partner. Or worse yet, to stop 'courting' them or trying to get their attention.
Think back to when you first started dating your partner. There was an excitement when you heard their name. When you got a text message or phone call from them your heart skipped a beat and your mood instantly lifted. You likely went out on fun and exciting 'dates' where you tried new things, pushed boundaries and created connection.
Both of you were excited to get to know each other, to ask questions and share your individual stories with each other. You both wanted to impress each other and appear interesting, valuable and worth getting to know. As individuals you were both wanting to put your best foot forward, knowing that if you did there was a good chance the relationship would grow and develop into something special.
As time passes you may feel as though you know everything about your partner. Or that there's nothing left to ask them that you don't already know the answer to. You might also think that you don't have to 'try' as hard to impress them or get their attention because you're married now and can get 'comfortable'. Does this sound familiar?
If it does, you're not alone. A lot of people in long term relationships feel the same and sadly they don't think it's important to keep dating each other. We're here to tell you that dating your partner isn't important, it's necessary!
Going on 'dates' with your partner keeps you both engaged, interested and pursuing each other. It maintains fun in your relationship and helps you both create a deeper connection that's healthy and rewarding for your relationship.
When you go on dates, be intentional with your time and try to stay away from conversations about the same old, same old. You know what we're talking about. Talking about the kids, your work schedule and work projects, and other topics you typically talk about daily are not the things you want to be talking about on a date. Did you talk about these things when you started dating? Didn't think so.
Instead of talking about these topics, talk about your goals for the future together. Ask your partner what's challenging them. Ask them what's something new they'd like to try. Ask them to share their feelings about what they're thankful for when they look back on your relationship and everything you've accomplished together. Ask your partner what super hero power they'd like to have and why. Whatever you talk about on your date, make it exciting, intriguing and intentional.
The purpose of going on 'dates' is to create connection. It's not to simply get out of the house, get away from the kids or enjoy a meal together that you don't have to cook or clean up for.
As your relationship grows and evolves over time, it's important to continue impressing each other and creating connection through 'dates'.
Have fun! Stay engaged with each other and transform your relationship.